Living with a psychopath

[Paul_13]

.Thought I'd spice up the forum and enlighten you to the joys of living with a psychopath  

Just to give you an idea  of the history behind all of this , Sam is my brother in law and I live with the in law's .

This all started around 7 years ago when Sam tried to kill his blood sister Beth in the night with a knife but manged to talk himself out of it. He then tried to kill his adopted brother in the night with a knife but luckily managed to talk himself out of it again. 

He then tried admitting himself at hospital but they wouldn't carry on with it. 

He then had a psychotic episode and hit his mum over the head with a hammer and got admitted to a mental hospital. 

When he was at the mental hospital he said to police he had killed some one and hidden their body in a set of garages in Southampton (the f*cked up thing is he had never been there yet described the exact location and details of the garage) police arrived there and there was no body, it was the voices in his head talking. 

He further proceeded to spend 8 months on and off in a high security mental hospital.... 

So he come home and all was well until a year or 2 app when he tried to take his own life, by over dosing on the tablets which make him sleep. He doesn't succeed and it was enlightened he needed extra help and a medication change. 

Then fast forward to Monday night... 

I get woken to the police literally BANGING on the door, I could see from the window . I was the only one to wake up in the house. I went to the door and they requested to speak to Sam's parents. After 5 minutes of banging on their bed room door they finally awoke (which is a worry if Sam was having an episode in the house!) 
They went down stairs and the police informed us Sam has been arrested, he was found in war memorial park with a knife and crow bar. 
Luckily Sam had realised what was going on and managed to call the police to come and arrest him before he killed some one....

[Mattcheese31]

Bare crazy shit mate, I'm afraid you wouldn't catch me residing with that nutter, life's short enough without someone cutting it shorter, gtfo of there mate...

[Paul_13]

The police released him without any further action needed apparently!
I'm literally scared to go to sleep, I've put a lock on our side of the door.

I was in home Base thinking to myself I can't believe I'm actually doing this.

Sam said to his mum, if you hear me go out at night call the police. I'm protecting the family (from myself)

[Paul_13]

And the f*cked up thing is the family is laughing and joking like nothing has happened... Very f*cking surreal.

I guess Sam doesn't want us scared of him, but f*ck me it's hard.

The scary thing is, it's that the couple of weeks leading up to this Sam was every where I turned...
I come out of the shower, he's there.
I go for a piss in the middle of the night, he's there
General moving around the house, he's there.

I've said to my wife a couple of times its creeping me the f*ck out and then the events of Monday night happen.


Now, I'm not sure if he's planning some thing (to kill me) , or he's trying to get my attention and open up to me. (which he has done in the past) he's told me a lot more than he has ever told his family.

I'm not sure if I'm over reacting or what.

This is the last thing I need going on, my dad's battling cancer at the moment and I'm living with a psycho who wants to murder people

[Niall]

That is messed up mate! If i was you i would be looking for every little chance possible to have him sectioned...and hiding anything sharp in a locked cupboard lol

[r3k1355]

I agree why the f*ck don't these people have sharp objects under lock and key??

Also have you not asked the police what it takes to get the poor kid the help and attention he needs??
Is he genuinely going to have to attack someone before they section him??

[Paul_13]

He's already been assess by the mental health team at the police station and was deemed safe?!

He's had a full check up yesterday and they are adjusting his medication

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The thing is he's been fine for a few years, so there was no need to hide them.

No idea where he got the crowbar from, no f*cking idea.
There isn't any in the house and has never been

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After you turn 18 it's very very hard to get continued help for mental health problems, it's a joke really

[Toms306]

I don't have anything to add though, sounds awful for you and everyone involved tbh.

[bashbarnard]

Holy shit!!

[toseland]

unfortunately he will likely have to deal some serious damage to someone, or something, and be arrested and charged with a high-penalty crime, murder, manslaughter and the like, before he can have a formal psychological assessment instructed by the courts and deemed fit for trial. IF he isnt deemed fit he will then be likely committed to an institution.

speak with your GP and air your concerns, they can also request such a formal assessment..

[Eeyore]

this is weird... id be having locks on everything!

[toseland]

Put your hands up though, if when he said "Sam is my brother in law" you immediately Defaulted to Mr Rowell =D

[bashbarnard]

this is weird... id be having locks on everything!

I wouldnt live there. Or local for that matter.

[Paul_13]

Don't have much choice at the moment, my wife's knee is bad and she can't drive. We're relying on her parents to give her a lift to work.

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unfortunately he will likely have to deal some serious damage to someone, or something, and be arrested and charged with a high-penalty crime, murder, manslaughter and the like, before he can have a formal psychological assessment instructed by the courts and deemed fit for trial. IF he isnt deemed fit he will then be likely committed to an institution

speak with your GP and air your concerns, they can also request such a formal assessment..

Unfortunately that is the case.

[Toms306]

this is weird... id be having locks on everything!

I wouldnt live there. Or local for that matter.

You never know who's round the corner tbh... There are potentially dangerous people everywhere, wouldn't know until it's too late. It's amazing but terrifying what the human mind is capable of unfortunately.

[Matt]

That is literally insane! I'm sure you can get someone sectioned, you need 7 people or something to testify!

Surely there must be something they can do, or are they just going to wait till he does actually kill someone

[Dum-Dum]

I sadly have too much experience in this area.

The long and short of it is the mental health service are f*cked! They have almost zero beds anywhere in the south east certainly and maybe across the country so I'm sure this affects their decision as to whether to actually section people.

I reckon it's 50/50 when Police officers section someone (136 mental health act) and take them to the mental health hospital as to whether they'll be kept in or let straight back out, sometimes they are out so quickly I haven't even finished the paperwork and these are people who are absolutely raving and an obvious danger to themselves or others.

From what I've heard of the assessments if they are well enough to say that they were stopping themselves from doing it or that they don't feel like doing it any more or promise to start taking their medication again then they get released and they are straight out back to sit on that bridge parapet ready to jump or waiting at the end of the platform for the next high speed through train. Don't laugh it happens, we literally stop people in the act of hurting themselves or others and within an hour of them being let out they are back trying to kill themselves. Fortunately most of these people are only dangerous to themselves and not others. I could tell you terrifying examples of this but won't post publicly.

This is, I suspect, where your brother in law is. Sane enough to stop himself so doesn't need keeping in. It's just not right.

this is weird... id be having locks on everything!

I wouldnt live there. Or local for that matter.

They are everywhere mate, you would need to live on a private island to get away from it. About 2% of people will suffer schizophrenia at some point in their life time. Most (like my next door neighbor) are no danger at all.

Let's put it like this. The average household is nearly 2.5 people. 2% is one in 50 people. That means one in 20 households has a schizophrenic person potentially. How many houses in your street?

[bashbarnard]

Schizophrenia is different to psycho though. One of lus best friends at uni had schizophrenia and was absolutely lovely. In fact one of the nicest people you would meet.

[Kezzieboy]

Mental health services in this country are utter shit, we need an NHS and a NMHS. We're only starting to realise how pervasive mental health problems are in this country and across the world. It's about time they were taken seriously and funded as such, I welcome the introduction of a Shadow Minister for Mental Health.

[Dum-Dum]

Schizophrenia is different to psycho though. One of lus best friends at uni had schizophrenia and was absolutely lovely. In fact one of the nicest people you would meet.

Psychopath covers any mental disorder that makes people dangerous to others (you might be thinking of sociopath) Schizophrenia is more specific

represent a withdrawal or lack of function that you would usually expect to see in a healthy person; for example, people with schizophrenia often appear emotionless, flat and apathetic but can represent a change in behavior or thoughts, such as hallucinations or delusions

And from my experience together with what Paul has written was my assumption of the problem as I hate using the term psychopath.

Many people with schizophrenia do lead perfectly normal lives especially on medication until they have an episode......

[bashbarnard]

She defiantly had schizophrenia w on meds and had a few other issues. Still really nice and friendly.

[Paul_13]

I was only half jesting with the thread title by the way

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He won't go fully into detail about what's happening which is alarming! He only let on that he goes out the house to protect the family?!

He's got voices in his head again

[Paul_13]

He's just asked me if I can pick him up from the station tomorrow evening.... Errr... No

[Dum-Dum]

He's just asked me if I can pick him up from the station tomorrow evening.... Errr... No

Making him an outsider will make it worse sadly, what he needs is compassion and support.

[toseland]

He's just asked me if I can pick him up from the station tomorrow evening.... Errr... No

Making him an outsider will make it worse sadly, what he needs is compassion and support.

indeed...

[insomaniac45]

when i first saw the title of this thread, i honestly though some ones woken up to the realitys of living with a woman....... but shit, i really do hope that sam is getting all the help he can, it does sound as though he is trying his best to prevent anyone getting hurt, which is a very positive sign. Not that im in any way qualified to make such judgement.

Mental issues are nothing to be swept under the carpet, and well done to you for speaking up. Even if it is not you that is challenged, you still see live with the effects it has, and those alone can be very challenging. (friend with bipolar - nothing compared to schizophrenia)

i hope for the best,

Tony.

[aaron_one]

That shit cray

[Redordead89]

Damn man move out and give the wife a piggy back to work if you have to,
kinda hoping you ain't got an oc sticker on your car or does he read your posts on here?
I thought I had a bad day today man but that's just bols mate wish you's all well til you's get it fixed!

[Gaz85]

Sounds like you have a fair bit on your plate paul, i hope everything works out for you and the wife. I also hope that sam gets the help and support he needs to at least get close to living a normal life. As for the mental health support system in the uk it is a joke to many people get pushed to one side and forgotten about but that's just what i've experienced.

[THE_Liam]

That's awful man, feel bad for you, him and the whole family.

I've grown up around mental health issues with a manic depressive mother and grandmother, sister suffering from anxiety and depression and mine and my dads anger issues, so it makes a lot of sense to me. There isn't enough support offered to prevent people breaking down unfortunately, it's a case of "Come back when you've gone off the deep end"