Housemate's just bought a new car.

[Ruan]

It's a Mk3 Golf Convertible "GTI"...

I can safely say there is not ONE redeeming feature of this car... There has been not one car I've disliked more...

It's slow..
It sounds shit even with a decat and TWIN TIP DTM BACKBOX Y0000!
It leaks
Electric Roof doesn't work
Steering Rack is f*cked
Windows don't go down
Central locking is f*cked
We killed the head unit on the way home
Does 27mpg
It's a HORRIBLE green
It's a Mk3 Golf...
It's got 113hp - HOW can you get that little power from a 2.0 8v engine? Even the 2.0 8v XSi was 122hp, and that's a terrible engine.
It's badged a GTi with 113hp - HOW?!
It doesn't handle - AT ALL even though it's on some Spax shocks... Significantly worse than a stock 306 with all components f*cked.
The heater controls are all f*cked
Half the dash lights don't work
It smells f*cking awful because it leaks
The cloth on the seats is disintegrating worse than a 306s side bolster
It's VAG

How could anyone want such a car?

[Scott]

That sounds like a sack of shit :?

How much did he pay for the privilege?

[Ruan]

250 quid I think...

It's a f*cking sack of shit. Hateful, HATEFUL car...

I genuinely believe a Perodua Kelisa has more character and charm.

[Eeyore]

D: There are good cars out there if people knew what to look for! It astonishes me people who buy complete shit boxes!

[Ruan]

He's bought it knowing it's a sack of shit, he just has a penchant for shit cars...

He currently also has a Polo saloon, slammed on its arse, matt black, with 2 pink wheels...

It, also is a sack of shit.

He does kinda make up for it by having a Honda City with a MR2 Turbo subframe and engine in the boot... There's only two Honda Citys in the UK, lol!

[Connor]

Not living with ed anymore then? Or did he give up on vtec

[Ruan]

Nah, got my own place now!

[Connor]

Ahh hairy muff

[THE_Liam]

Sounds like a shit example of a mk3 to me. Their not bad cars if you get a decent one

[Ruan]

I think it's mostly the fact it's a convertible tbh...

According to the guy who drove behind on the way back, you can see the entire chassis flex as it goes into corners...

Also, what should the 8v redline at, seems to fuel cut at about 5000rpm, which doesn't seem right to me... Limp mode?

[THE_Liam]

Yeah they are pretty bad. I heard about a lad that had a weird knocking noise coming from the doors every time he hit a bump, turned out it was the chassis flexing :o

My GTI hatch was fine though, nippy enough, reliable, decent to drive and ok on juice for a 2 litre

Edit: Mine would redline at around 6.5k, although there's no point pushing the 8 valve to those revs, it's all low-down torque with no top-end really...

[Ruan]

Oh it'll be reliable for sure, you lift the bonnet and it's a case of "Yes, that's an engine" and that's all there is to say about it...

It's stupidly simple engineering...

Infact, the only comment I had to make was "The starter is bolted the opposite way round to normal" It faces into the block rather than into the gearbox!

[jo3]

i hate golfs.. i mean HATE with a passion! i dont like VW tho i think there crap, they do stupid designs that if somthing gos wrong no lady garden can fix it unless it gos to VW for all that money (vagaygay diagnostic system)or find someone who bought the special diagnostics, yet mine works on peugeots, fords, vauxhall, all cars except german shit.. the old ones are a bag of old shit, and people call them "retro" there not retro it should have been scrapped years ago!

the new ones are just as terrible, with the pd engine with its crappy tandem pump wtf! is all that bout, so its a lift/high pressure in one... shit idea. also this... under the number 6 in the picture anyone know what that is.... its called an atmospheric ball and it keeps atmospheric pressure..... f*ck we live in atmospheric pressure why do they need to keep a stupid ball for it! GRRRR VW owners just never wanna admit there car is shit tho.

[Dum-Dum]

Perodua Kelisa

Bless you

[THE_Liam]

Oh it'll be reliable for sure, you lift the bonnet and it's a case of "Yes, that's an engine" and that's all there is to say about it...

It's stupidly simple engineering...

Infact, the only comment I had to make was "The starter is bolted the opposite way round to normal" It faces into the block rather than into the gearbox!

I remember opening the bonnet on my mk3 and thinking about moving the spare wheel under there! Some cars these days like my Octavia you can drop a spanner in the engine bay and it won't reach the floor, in a mk3 you can drop a tool chest

[THE_Liam]

i hate golfs.. i mean HATE with a passion! i dont like VW tho i think there crap, they do stupid designs that if somthing gos wrong no vajayjay can fix it unless it gos to VW for all that money (vagaygay diagnostic system)or find someone who bought the special diagnostics, yet mine works on peugeots, fords, vauxhall, all cars except german shit.. the old ones are a bag of old shit, and people call them "retro" there not retro it should have been scrapped years ago!

Why can't anyone fix it? My Octavia is basically a mk4 Golf with a fat arse, and I've got a code reader that tells me any fault codes and resets any warning lights, and it cost £14 from some bloke in China. Instead of trial and error when you have a problem, it just tells you what's wrong?

And which old ones are shit? I hope you don't mean stuff like the mk1/mk2 Golf?

[mark_airey]

Well.................that sounds like its an awesome car :roll: good to see the good old VAG build quality shining through there

[Foxy-jim]

This car sounds like a dog!

[mark_airey]

This car sounds like a dog!

No, you seem to be confused -

Dog -


Car-


See, not even slightly similar :mrgreen:

[Midnightclub]

I think i can beat that.. Friend of mine paid £1000 2 days ago for a 525tds with 200,000+ Miles on the clock with only 2 months MOT.. he then proceeded to spend £70 on matte black spray paint and paint the ENTIRE car appart from the windscreen and front two side windows.. the gearbox mounts are broken and it sounds very very unhealthy..

[Ben Jay]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Honda_City <This?

[Ruan]

One of those, yeah, but with an MR2 turbo in the back...

[Moonstone2.0]

I think i can beat that.. Friend of mine paid £1000 2 days ago for a 525tds with 200,000+ Miles on the clock with only 2 months MOT.. he then proceeded to spend £70 on matte black spray paint and paint the ENTIRE car appart from the windscreen and front two side windows.. the gearbox mounts are broken and it sounds very very unhealthy..

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/BMW-525-2-5-TD...3cc33530b6

oops

p.s...might go and see this car

[Ben Jay]

:text-worthless:

[Ruan]

I'll get pics later...

It's so gash I don't know if my camera will cope, though.

[mark_airey]

I'll get pics later...

It's so gash I don't know if my camera will cope, though.

Not worth breaking your camera for mate

[Norledge]

Oh hai.

Ruan, STFU.

It's slow.. But It's Gurt Lush
It sounds shit even with a decat and TWIN TIP DTM BACKBOX Y0000! Subtle, because it's been bent up behind the rear bumper. Dhurr.
It leaks Thats just gash juice, from all the scuff
Electric Roof doesn't work Manual Roof = Workout
Steering Rack is f*cked Errr... It's the pump actually.
Windows don't go down The N/S one doesn't work, but only when you're in the car...
Central locking is f*cked That's Anti-Hijack
We killed the head unit on the way home All those power ballads you insisted on playing. The stereo sacarificed itself to save my dignity
Does 27mpg Meh, thats 7 more than most of my cars
It's a HORRIBLE green But It's Gurt Lush
It's a Mk3 Golf... But It's Cabby
It's got 113hp - HOW can you get that little power from a 2.0 8v engine? Even the 2.0 8v XSi was 122hp, and that's a terrible engine. It's all about the talks yoh.
It's badged a GTi with 113hp - HOW?! GTi - Gurt Tidy interior
It doesn't handle - AT ALL even though it's on some Spax shocks... Significantly worse than a stock 306 with all components f*cked. TWISTY BARRRR!!!!
The heater controls are all f*cked Who needs cold air when you can drop the hood yoh!?
Half the dash lights don't work Only the bit that lights up the fuel gauge, with 27mpgz who needs to see that!?
It smells f*cking awful because it leaks That was your bumhole seeping with excitement
The cloth on the seats is disintegrating worse than a 306s side bolster Lightweight innit.
It's VAGaygay But I can use VAGCOM now!!

[Dan!]

Were in the minority here mate, you wont win!

[Norledge]

Haha now to post up the Poolow...

[Norledge]

Yum yum yum...

Bought...





Now...



Slate away