NSFW: Tucker Max

[samass]

Read some funny stories about a true arsehole, hero of a man. prepare to be amused, disgusted, and probably aroused.

TuckerMax.com

Once you've read them all, you can get his ebook for free on ibooks and kindle. Do it, more hilarity.

[Jake]

Omg thank you for this... I'm in stitches reading this stuff !


Out of context this will make no sense to anyone, but Fking lol

That did it. Four of them got up their courage and ran up the hill. I know the one dude had just “threatened” me, but in the moment, it honestly didn’t even occur to me that they would try to get physical. These grad students had taken our relentless mocking for hours because they were pussies. I mean, pussies are pussies—it’s not just a word.

When they got to the top of the hill, they saw all my friends behind us that they couldn’t see from down below, and they kinda stopped and milled around for a second, unsure of what to do. You know that scene in Braveheart where the two guys pretend to be lost so they can get the English to chase them, and the English take the bait, only to run into a huge group of Scots over the hill, and they become the prey? It was like that. Except with nerds. Seeing their body language completely change, I figured this out… but was in such disbelief, I put the bullhorn down for a second:

Tucker “Wait… did you storm up here… thinking we’d run off?”

The embarrassed silence was all the confirmation I needed.

SlingBlade “HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHHAHHHAHAH! Oh my God, that’s so precious!”

I f*cking lit them up:

Tucker “WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO??? NOTHING!! YOU’RE GOING BACK DOWN TO YOUR MUDDY GHETTO! YOU CAN’T BEAT ME! I HAVE A BULLHORN, AND YOU HAVE NOTHING, BECAUSE I AM SMART AND YOU ARE STUPID! NOW GET THE f*ck OFF MY HILL, YOU f*cking PUSSIES!”

They milled around for a second more, then walked back down the hill. I don’t know if I’ve ever felt more like a real warrior in my life.

Tucker “TENT CITY, YOUR PITIFUL ASSAULT HAS BEEN REPELLED! I AM YOUR CONQUERER AND YOU ARE ALL MY SUBJECTS! BOW BEFORE ME!!”

[samass]

sniggering from the second line

[Ben Jay]

http://www.tuckermax.com/stories/tucker-...not-ensue/


Literally laughing out loud in my bed at this!!!!

[Jake]

http://www.tuckermax.com/stories/tucker-...not-ensue/


Literally laughing out loud in my bed at this!!!!

I woke my mrs up doing the same thing!

“Did you…did you just…shit on my dick??”

Bahahaha!

[Matt]

Reading the ebook as we speak. Tucker max is my hero haha

[Stephen]

Very funny, some great story's. love the midget one. Seems like quite the lad!

[Niall]

Reading the ebook as we speak. Tucker max is my hero haha

Will be starting it in a bit

[Poodle]

Yup, that's my morning wasted.

[Matt]

BLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

---

Even if your completly right, your wrong, because I have the bullhorn

[Ben Jay]

Pahahahaahahahahaha
http://www.tuckermax.com/stories/the-mos...tion-ever/

[rocker8742]

The appology to the porta loo omfg

[Matt]

I'm crying. Anyone read the sexting yet? Hahaha

[cully]

if anyone wants
tucker max Assholes Finish First on kindle
PM me an email
i have quite a kindle collection

   

[Dum-Dum]

http://www.tuckermax.com/stories/tucker-...not-ensue/


Literally laughing out loud in my bed at this!!!!

O
M
G
!


Im not going to get any work done tomorrow. (or today)

[cully]

film's not bad