Time for a Fresh Start - Updated Page 3, Jan 2013

[kentiiboii]

I think you need to continue the conversation with your Mum, over time and in small doses. Make it clear that your opening up was not so she could worry about you, but so that she could understand the issues you face. You have to be clear and confident when you do this to get your point across. Explain that now she understands (or at least knows) about this, you'd like to see some consideration from her and the rest of the family when it comes to the kitchen etc. You have to be strong and stand your ground here, the only way you're going to get through to them is to keep explaining. If you come away from this feeling bad for them then frankly you're not doing it right!

I know it's been said but you seriously do need to consider professional help. I, just like everyone else, have various mental traits caused by things that have happened in life. Whilst I'm not open to counseling, there are other avenues to explore and they WILL help (I have done). Your negative attitude is making you see these as a bad thing, a 'waste of time'. For once please see these as a positive. How do you know if they're a waste of time if you don't bloody well try?? I believe Scott has mentioned this in the past, but his Mum is a Hypnotherapist, and could probably recommend someone in your area. Believe me, this sort of thing helps.

I'm sorry to hear about your Nan, but if she were to pull through and go home, would there not be an option for the two of you to find a small place together? Some retirement flats do have two bedrooms you know Could you agree that the kitchen and the cleaning aspects are your domain, and ask her to leave food prep etc down to you? It's a baby step with someone understanding, and would give you more control?

Kent- I'm sorry to hear about your Nan too. Mine died a couple of years ago and had been suffering from Dementia for at least 5 years. I think going to see your Nan would be a good thing for you to do, before you miss the chance. She of course will be different from how you remember her t be, if you haven't seen her in that long, but other than that she'll still be your Nan! She just won't remember you.... I think you'll regret it if you don't! My Great Uncle is currently in a nursing home with it too, but he actually seems happier and more 'alive' now than he did before, like all the worry and confusion has gone.

You've got it all spot on there for Tom kimmie .

As for me I know I should. Think I may go with my mamma one day but I know I really ain't going to like what I see. Everyone keeps telling me I should. But I guess I'm more scared than anything. Plus I've been rather lucky in life and never had anyone close to me die. So I know I'd break down more if I went to see her.