Report: French Car Show 2017 - Saturday 15th July 2017

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Report: French Car Show 2017 - Saturday 15th July 2017
With only a few days to go before French Car Show members were shocked to see that the club had been thrown in with smaller clubs and we hadnt been allocated a stand. Mark Dow however managed to sort this out after we explained our numbers were greater than he had anticipated we were allocated a stand in the trade area. Never before had a club been merged with trade.

Preparation started with members cleaning their cars the night before and the East contigent met at 4pm at Bury St Edmunds before grabbing food and driving to camp arriving shortly after 7. A shoutout from Mista Jam covering Greg James' Dance Anthems also gave the club a shoutout after I texted in which was a great start to the weekend. By the time we arrived Orta had been there for a few hours on his own and had picked a prime camping spot. Everyone else arrived several minutes later. Erections came first before roasting meat over the burning bin washing machine drum that Bash and Lu had brought along. 


Team Wales who were camping next to us didnt seem to have come across the internet before and wielding old nokia phones they joined us under the magnificent 306oc marquee as it began to rain. They bought a lamp which everyone was very jealous of and is apparently now they next thing for the club to buy because obviously people are incapable of bringing the right equipment camping. Standard sing along to tenacious D tribute whilst being interrupted by airplanes which didnt stop all night. 


Now for possibly the most remembered part of the show. At approximately 2:30am Sam Bates decided to have a nightmare. Luckily it was a 6 man tent and I wasnt too close as he started tossing wildly screaming at the top of his lungs. "Sam what the f*ck are you doing?" followed by kicking him to wake him up followed by him not knowing where he was trying to attack me as I shouted "ITS SAM, WE ARE AT FRENCH CAR SHOW, WE ARE CAMPING!"... telling everyone the story the next morning wasnt needed as everyone had been woken up by the trauma and had heard literally everything.

Morning came. Showers were decent. Onto stand yet more erections as the club flags and banners went up using Rover steves wheels to ensure they didnt fall over and hit any cars. The stand was fantastic. we had both the front and back of one row which meant that everyone was front row. A great selection of cars with a majority of 306s which was nice for a change. Several ZXs, 205s, 405, a DS3 and unfortunately a rover made the numbers up to about 18 cars. Obviously the 205 which dropped all its coolant was at the front of stand and drew the most attention as people tried to fix it. Even dum dums XUD converted Hdi 3 door grabbed some attention presumably only down to the multicolored boost pipes. Cars all clean, spec sheets on display and it was time for a walk around the show.


The main area at donnington is tarmacced so not being grass like castle combe or pugfest its remarkably hard not to just see it as a massive car park. It was great to see some proper track weapons around and to see lots of classics rather than bought not built meganes and clios that dominate the scene and the limited imaginations of the youth of today. As per tradition the club jumped on the free dodgems for two sessions of light hearted bumping seeing as despite being asked the operator decided to limit the speed to 0.5mph. Great to see max power styling making a return as well!


Most of the club was out on Session B (1.30 to 3.30) and being the most hardcore track enthusiasts we were the first in the queue. Straight into the pit lane. At the front. Boom. sorted. We will be first out. Apart from the two loads of sighting laps which saw the second group who joined the queue later stay out on track. 50 slots were sold in this track time yet 66 cars were on track and in the pits. People were sneaking in or had simply joined the wrong session. Sort it out Donnington! It took 30 minutes to get out on track and every time we came in it took 20 minutes to get out again!


The biggest issue by far with track was that there was no static noise test at 4k rpm as with most circuits. It was a drive by noise test and funnily enough wide open throttle at 7.5K is slightly louder. This saw me being black flagged on lap two with bates and half of the other drivers coming in shortly after. two strikes and youre out was the rule which was unfortunate for bates who only lasted another 20 minutes before his two hour session came to a close along with a smashed windscreen from a stone thrown up on track.


Passenger rides galore and those who werent passengering were cheering on from the pits. Some decent overtakes on saxos and c2s by pretty much everyone. What had been hyped up for weeks before hand was the battle between me and rover steve. MG ZR vs Rallye. Unfortunately this never really got anywhere. I overtook as Steve let a faster car past which doesnt really count however everyone was pretty aware of the fact they could be "rovertaken". Much like the ice caps melting everyone was aware it was a thing but wasnt really that bothered about it. Also much like the ice caps melting its going to be an extremely long time before it actually happens, if ever.


Track took its toll on pretty much all the cars that day. Bates smashed his windscreen. My rallye had no seals on the dipstick so blew all its oil out over the engine bay which put an end to my session. Toms ZX dumped all its oil either in the pits or track. Matts £350 rallye despite not going on track dropped its coolant probably just in fear that it may be abused in more ways than just chronic laquer peel. Even steves rover which seemed to be reliable later was found to have eaten through its arch liners and ABS cables because of steve being a nonce and buying NS2Rs that were too big. The one car that did go on track and was totally reliable was Pauls 405. A mightly low miler with possibly all of its 90 horses still intact showed the big boys absolutely nothing apart from how comfy a track day could really be. It was a majestic sight and watching from the stands it was truely an experience not to have my ears bleed when a car sped (wafted) past.


Stand packed down we all retired to the campsite. Discussions over whether to go out for dinner resulted in a second evening of BBQing. Bash, Lu, me and Matthew (No.5 as apparently this is the worlds most popular name) went to the local supermarche where we purchased a variety of burgers, breads, sweets and 1L of oil to get the rallye home. We had the BBQ, sat around the fire and took the wee out of bates some more for his night terrors before spoilsports arrived and told us we had to put out the fire. Conveniently that took forever to go out and as numbers dropped and returned to their tents I decided to bring out my DJ talents with some classics and more modern progressive trance house alternatives.


Sunday morning came and we were all thrilled that we had tickets to the VW show. "I love rims and air and I never want to go home" were the exact words that bash used. We parked outside and wandered in. It was amazing to see so many Mk7 golf Rs all in the same bluey purple (official colour name). Truely a testament to how thick their owners wallets were. This beetle really stood out.


After wandering around the stock audi TT stand and the stock golf stand we came across Jessies Jetta from the Fast and The Furious. Thats the first film not the eigth. We wandered round to the first corner and watched some german metal pootle around the track in a very uniform unexciting fashion before going our separate ways.

So to sum up FCS this year? Fantastic Stand, Fantastic Track, Fantastic Camping, Fantastic People. Dont share a tent with Bates. Once youve done £20 worth of queuing you will break your car on track. Washing machine drums cook food the best.

Big thanks to everyone who made it possible. Ive sent our appreciation to Mark Dow and roll on next year! Thankyou to all the new people who came along and to those lurking members who came out of the woodwork for the first time. Think I met most of you and hope to see you at the next show and the christmas meet!

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Super write up Rowell old boy, it was indeed a most agreeable weekend's frolics Big Grin
Phase 1 D-Turdo, K14@24 psi, De-cat, meaty backbox, Bosch pump, grinded LDA pin, duel air fed K&N =133.7bhp & 188ft/lbs
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Yeah all agreed. Great write up and almost all true. I do love rims and air........

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
On a break from 306oc for personal reasons. If anyone needs or wants me most of you have my number and or facebook messenger
Thanks for the good times guys n gals. I might be back. Who knows.
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Great write up, sad the epic battle between friends and lovers never amounted to much. That damn 206 getting in the way and refusing to pull over for me ruined things.

Still happy to self declare I won by default lol
[Image: mcetg0.png]

ZR VVC Homebrew mapping project:
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I for one welcomed the change in venue to Donnington

Better track with proper pits you can stop in before queing up again.

Less faff having to go do a static noise test.

Show layout nice and compressed, easy to get around and see everything.

Loads of good facilities, eat drink be merry, toilets ..etc

Lots of interesting traders along.

Felt much more of a worthwhile show than in last couple of years at Combe - put that down to organisers than simply venue change.
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It did feel like more of a "legit" race track with the pit lanes/garages and what not. Just a shame about the noise limit but as others have said if it's council specified then not alot they can do.
Layout was good and the toilet facilities were much nicer compared to combes
And was much closer than combe (2 hour drive vs 4-5) so that was major plus points
[Image: mcetg0.png]

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Amazing time as per!!
French Wench
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Great write up as usual Sam Smile Must admit I preferred the setup and track at Donnington this year. The old 405 was indeed very comfortable while wafting round track. Not exactly the plan at the start of the day! While very quiet on the straights the wailing from the tortured old Michelins during massive understeer on the tight corners was fairly excessive! I spent as much time looking in the mirrors as I did looking at the track in case someone tried to overtake around the outside and they underestimated how much the front end washed out.
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Was good show and even better camping.

Gutted about the sound issues but by that time my screen was cracked so wouldn't be allowed back out again anyway.
[Image: Cn91r40h.jpg] 
Astor 6 Fast road/track project
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Super write up Big Grin Hopefully I'll make it next year
Gutted i missed out on the rims n air!
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Donington is a much better venue, not only is it 30 minutes from home, but Like it has been said it just felt more professionally organised (apart from that track issue), better laid out and just generally better.

Thanks to everyone who put work in to make the weekend as awesome as it was. Sam for organising, Bash and Lu for waiting for my very low Rallye and the awesome BBQ, & Bates and Steve for passenger rides!

Shame I had to go Saturday night and I'm gutted I missed stance and air
||AVO Race GTX Coilovers||Signature Blue Steels||P1 VTS Rack||Hybrid ARB||21mm Torsion Bar||rich_w Flywheel||
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