So who is a mechanic

[Dum-Dum]

I learned f*ck all in college as I only did the lectures between 0900 - 1100 cos the pub opened at 1100 and my mate was knobbing the barmaid so me and another mate got left looking after the bar  

i just have this image of your mate going to the pub and nipping upstairs while youre left with the taps unattended

You wouldn't believe it but that is exactly what happened!
It was incredible at the age of 16 just being in a nearly deserted pub playing pool, smoking and drinking beer all day.