Job Hunt and Health Issues

[Toms306]

tom, we haven't met or spoke much but I have read numerous threads by you and it comes over( and don't take this the wrong way)but that you want everything and nothing at the same time.
these people you speak to can help you but YOU have to want them too help you they can't do it all for you.
my partner has severe IBS ( amongst other things) but she copes with it, she works full time aswell
every job suggestion any one has put in this thread you have a lame excuse for
go to the doctor do what they ask , complete the course of therapy if your still no better then you can dismiss it but the people advising you on this have a lot of experiance and qualifications in what they do
you are going to get no where in life if you dont take the bull by the horns give yourself a slap around the face and take on board the advice your given and the help they are offering 
don't just go one once and say it's no help complete the course

I'm not even sure what that means tbh? Everything and nothing? I don't know what I want myself tbh, though I do know what I think I want, I usually don't... If you can work that one out do let me know!

They weren't interested in helping yesterday, they were just interested in filling out a rigid form because presumably they get paid for each one they fill or something, I don't know, but there was no point filling it in. She told me I should've been applying for ESA so why didn't she just let me go within 5 mins and re-apply for that instead? Fair enough I made the mistake applying for the wrong one (overestimating my abilities though it may not come across on here like that) but it's not my job to know which I should be applying for!

You make a very good point about your missus' IBS - she can cope with it... It may be worse than mine, it may not, I obviously don't know, but the fact she can cope with it is what makes the difference here. I can't really cope with anything, again I don't know why some people cope better with things than others, but how do you change that? Within the CBT I was told 'sh*tting myself in public is likely to happen eventually but there are worse things'...extremely helpful...not... Don't forget that part of my OCD is illness/medically based - I can't stand or cope with being ill at all, it's not just physically that I struggle with the IBS, it causes hell with the OCD as well, maybe that's why I struggle more with it than other people?

The 'course' of therapy was 6 sessions on the NHS, I done 4...if theres no difference after more than half the course it's clearly not working.

I do agree with that last point though, I don't expect to get anywhere in life, I can't cope with life in all honesty, I don't understand a lot of things that most people take for granted, I put in a lot of effort to do so (which doesn't appear to come across on here) but make absolutely no progress.

Right so they suggest you go to the doctor and ask you to go to a couple of meetings and you just instantly say no?
You have to make the effort and it just seems you passing everything off since no one has just handed you a magical fix everything pill yet

Realize that just going to some meetings is not a big deal the rest of us are dealing with much greater things in our jobs

No, it's nowhere near as simple as that.

Just visiting a GP is really more than I can cope with for a few reasons which I wont go over again. But they also won't diagnose IBS without bloodtests to rule out other things, well needles are probably about number 3 or 4 on the massive list of phobias I have with blood also being on the list. I hope that at some point in the future I can 'get over' it enough to have tests and jabs that are necessary (I'm currently open to a few deadly diseases ) but that's not going to be any time soon and it's definitely not going to be before Tuesday! Maybe it seems like I'm just dismissing it but I'm just being realistic tbh.

As for the meetings - firstly I can't deal with groups or crowds, regardless of who they are. Plus I'm expected to do 4 hours of meetings in one - currently I can't stay out more than 2 hours at a time for a 'leisure' event, what chance is there of being able to that in a stressful situation!? Again, being realistic there isn't any chance of that is there. Yesterday I was only at the centre an hour and a half and left clenching and had to rush home for another half hour toilet visit. That was after over an hour in there before leaving! Which brings me on to another point that I hadn't really thought about until the lady said it yesterday - how am I expecting to do 5 hour shifts if I can't do 2 hours out at a time? She's right, I'm a f*cking idiot, of course I can't!

Ironically, even if there was a pill to fix everything I wouldn't be able to take it.

Your last statement does annoy me a bit though, of course other people have more stressful things to deal with - presumably you chose the job knowing that was the case? Presumably you cope with stress better than me? I don't know how people do cope with things, I don't know why some people cope better than others? But it does come down to coping again, if you can't cope with something, you can't cope with it, it makes no difference if other people have bigger things to cope with...we're not all the same.




Unfortunately I can see this thread is just going to end up like the previous ones. I can't seem to explain myself properly or not come across as a c*nt - which makes it impossible for those of you that aren't me to be able to understand or see things from my POV. It's so obvious from a lot of the replies that it's not understood, and I know people are only trying to help, and it's completely my fault that I can't get it across in an understandable way, but I don't think theres much point continuing with this thread. The visit yesterday was a major reality check, I still can't cope with life or work and that hasn't improved at all since moving. I don't know what I'm going to do next, but I do know if I can't earn ~£800 a month by December I'll be moving back home. Realistically it's not gonna happen, I may as well start packing now.