(21-01-2015, 09:56 PM)Poodle Wrote: I think JJ has got his words dead right tbh Tom, you've got it very easy in real-world terms. I want to emphasise the point because it's a large part of the problem, you have no drive because you have no need for it - you can get along in your current situation. Just try sticking something out for long enough to be successful at it, maybe then you'll understand what all the fuss is about, it IS worth it.
In all honesty, and this is off topic for the thread, I lack drive because I'm scared of the future...what happens after I move out and can hopefully work? Say I can earn enough to support myself. I'm still the same boring, miserable lady garden just in a different place and feeling less guilt about wasting resources that I cant pay for. I'll still have phobias around medical stuff, still be permanently worried about illness and injury and its inevitable at some point I'll have to visit the dentist/hospital which is an inevitability that I never could cope with, even back in primary school. I don't want holidays or houses or fast cars...and I don't understand relationships so wouldn't inflict myself on some poor girl. I'm certainly not going to carry on the human race or make a positive contribution to society which is why we're all here surely.
I really am trying to be positive about the present/short term, and ignore the long term future and hope something changes if/when I get out and get working....but its always at the back of my mind. Plus I spend a lot of time with older people, its horrible, always thought retirement would be good but its just full of illness and ailments, lonliness, boredom etc... Just makes you wonder what the point is. I doubt anyone on here will agree but that's my opinion.
I don't think I've been successful at anything, no matter how long I work at it.
(22-01-2015, 12:10 PM)swampy Wrote: One comment from all this that sticks in my mind is if you don't like doing something ( a job) then you won't do it , but guess what I bet there is a high percentage of people on here who hate the job try do but they have bills to pay, people to feed and cars to run so they carry on with them until something better / they want to be doing comes along.
I never said this at all, I don't understand where the idea came from!
I do things I don't like all day every day. For example I worked in a supermarket, customer facing, which I hated from day 1 but managed to keep it going for almost a year until I just couldn't cope with it any more. I do gardening for old people in summer despite terrible hayfever. If I only did things I like doing, I'd never do anything.
What do your wife and MIL do out of interest? I'm guessing they aren't trapped on a till all day for example...it does reduce the sort of job you can do. I know plenty of people with IBS or similar who do work.
Re - chopping and changing cars, it costs sod all if you do it properly, never understand people that cant chop and change low end cars. The only exception to that was the Focus, where my Nan gave half towards it (so it only cost me what I sold the Vec for, and I bought the Vec with what I broke the Golf and HDi estate for and it goes back like that). Nan wanted to help my situation but will not fund moving out because she hates being on her own and does not understand why I would want to be. I and my sister were given a similar amount as a sort of partial early inheritance to get a better car, not that its really of relevance to this thread. What is, is that I chose the car to have very low running costs so that I could run it on a small budget but still retain reliability, refinement etc - and although I was sceptical about it, it has had the desired effect.