29-01-2013, 10:32 AM
Hmm, yeah I can definitely relate to that! And always more than one thing at once that just makes things impossible, using your dentist example - Im thinking what if I shit myself in the chair, what if I get a nervous boner, what if I gag as I have a terrible gag reflex, and what if that makes me sick, what if they find something wrong, what if they make things worse, how do I know they're not just lying and nothing needs doing, what if they won't stop when I ask them too, what will they think of me squirming about like a little girl, what will the people in the waiting room think of me acting like that, what will the sarcastic receptionist take the piss out of this time. Etc etc etc..... Argh! 
And you say about forests, I was walking through the woods last week in the snow and was getting further away from home on my own always thinking what if I fall, what if Im ill, what if something happens and I get so I cant get back (imagined my legs were just gonna fail or something), what if my phone breaks or has no signal and I need to ring someone in an emergency, then there was a deer crossed my path, what if it jumps at me or bites me, then a bird was scrabbling in a tree I had to walk past what if it flies out and packs my eyes, what if theres someone hiding in the bushes to mug/ra*e me, what if theres a dog off a lead that bites me...at one point, I genuinely thought 'what if I get struck my lightening', there was no storm or anything, where does the brain get these ideas from!? I was never an imaginitive kid, and even now I wont do anything 'imaginitive' with the car for example......so why can't it just leave off.
I also barely sleep so I know what thats like, probably an hour or two if I'm lucky, then I'll get woken up by some horrific nightmare and that'll be it for the night. Cos I'm always analysing everything as theres nothing else to do in bed (don't!
) but I analyse the day and everything that happened and what I've said to people or what I've wrote on here, or if I've upset/annoyed someone and then I worry about all the what ifs of the next day and maybe the more distant future and then it gets to morning and it's daylight and the fear hasnt stopped all night and is still there the next day.
And you say about forests, I was walking through the woods last week in the snow and was getting further away from home on my own always thinking what if I fall, what if Im ill, what if something happens and I get so I cant get back (imagined my legs were just gonna fail or something), what if my phone breaks or has no signal and I need to ring someone in an emergency, then there was a deer crossed my path, what if it jumps at me or bites me, then a bird was scrabbling in a tree I had to walk past what if it flies out and packs my eyes, what if theres someone hiding in the bushes to mug/ra*e me, what if theres a dog off a lead that bites me...at one point, I genuinely thought 'what if I get struck my lightening', there was no storm or anything, where does the brain get these ideas from!? I was never an imaginitive kid, and even now I wont do anything 'imaginitive' with the car for example......so why can't it just leave off.
I also barely sleep so I know what thats like, probably an hour or two if I'm lucky, then I'll get woken up by some horrific nightmare and that'll be it for the night. Cos I'm always analysing everything as theres nothing else to do in bed (don't!
) but I analyse the day and everything that happened and what I've said to people or what I've wrote on here, or if I've upset/annoyed someone and then I worry about all the what ifs of the next day and maybe the more distant future and then it gets to morning and it's daylight and the fear hasnt stopped all night and is still there the next day.