17-01-2013, 05:48 PM
Thanks Kent, I realise you're trying to help, sorry if I'm coming across as a bit of a lady garden, its not meant that way. 
Lol, I say 'f*ck it' a lot.........but more 'f*ck it, theres no point, I'll only fail'. But I know thats completely the wrong way to look at situations.
I'll tell you the thing with moving out, which I've just sort of realised today. It isn't the cowards way out, but more a 'break' or reducing stress in one area, to allow for helping the stress in other areas. At the minute stress/anxiety/panic, whatever you wanna call it is almost constant, with probably only an hours break each day, if that. I can't even relax in bed as I just stress about things all night, and when I do get to sleep its very light and often have awful and extremely realistic nightmares. Last night, for exaple, my stomach wasn't great, and this played on my mind so much that I had a horrible nightmare that I'd shit the bed - ok I can see the funny side now, but I genuinely woke up at ~4am not knowing whether that'd happened or not, fortunately it hadnt. But I was then shaking and sweating and my heart was racing and that kinda ruined the rest of the night for sleeping, so I laid awake worrying about stuff again because I just cant clear my mind.
Now the important thing about moving out is there would be no-one else about to worry about in that situation (at 'home'), so hopefully I would be able to relax there, on my own sofa, watching my own choice of tv, without even having to stress (too much) over dinner, just like when the rents are on holiday and Im home alone here. But rather than that being a cowards way out, its given a break and some time for me to relax and start to 'recover' my mind. That leaves more time for the stress of work/going out and even tackling other things that are way overdue now as I know theres a 'safe house' to return to to get away from everything later. Constantly bombarding myself with stress is never gonna allow my mind/body to sort itself out, but thats exactly whats happening now, and pushing through that would only make the situation worse until the point of collapse, or complete breakdown. As others have said, small steps are the key, its not gonna change over night, and I'm a very impatient guy, but I genuinely believe if I could reduce or maybe even remove the stress from one area of life that'd kickstart the 'recovery' in other areas.
That was quite positive wasn't it? Loada bollocks though...
But seriously, thats the way I see it.
Lol, I say 'f*ck it' a lot.........but more 'f*ck it, theres no point, I'll only fail'. But I know thats completely the wrong way to look at situations.
I'll tell you the thing with moving out, which I've just sort of realised today. It isn't the cowards way out, but more a 'break' or reducing stress in one area, to allow for helping the stress in other areas. At the minute stress/anxiety/panic, whatever you wanna call it is almost constant, with probably only an hours break each day, if that. I can't even relax in bed as I just stress about things all night, and when I do get to sleep its very light and often have awful and extremely realistic nightmares. Last night, for exaple, my stomach wasn't great, and this played on my mind so much that I had a horrible nightmare that I'd shit the bed - ok I can see the funny side now, but I genuinely woke up at ~4am not knowing whether that'd happened or not, fortunately it hadnt. But I was then shaking and sweating and my heart was racing and that kinda ruined the rest of the night for sleeping, so I laid awake worrying about stuff again because I just cant clear my mind.
Now the important thing about moving out is there would be no-one else about to worry about in that situation (at 'home'), so hopefully I would be able to relax there, on my own sofa, watching my own choice of tv, without even having to stress (too much) over dinner, just like when the rents are on holiday and Im home alone here. But rather than that being a cowards way out, its given a break and some time for me to relax and start to 'recover' my mind. That leaves more time for the stress of work/going out and even tackling other things that are way overdue now as I know theres a 'safe house' to return to to get away from everything later. Constantly bombarding myself with stress is never gonna allow my mind/body to sort itself out, but thats exactly whats happening now, and pushing through that would only make the situation worse until the point of collapse, or complete breakdown. As others have said, small steps are the key, its not gonna change over night, and I'm a very impatient guy, but I genuinely believe if I could reduce or maybe even remove the stress from one area of life that'd kickstart the 'recovery' in other areas.
That was quite positive wasn't it? Loada bollocks though...
But seriously, thats the way I see it.