02-01-2013, 10:14 AM
Well I gave this a rest over the xmas period as I didn't feel it was fair to depress people with a thread like this at that time. But I'll carry on now if thats ok.
Dicky - that makes perfect sense mate, and I know what you mean about getting stuff from your brain onto paper as I'm the same. With your brother, thats the exact reason I wouldn't attempt suicide, I know I'd f*ck it up and that'd just make things worse. Having a break from home would be ideal for me I think, as I know thats a major part of the problem, however I've got no where to go tbh, thats why the only option really would be to move out on my own, don't have any relatives I could stay with.
Kwik - I've read through that 2 or 3 times to take it in lol! And it does look like you've managed to make a brilliant recovery from where you were. What I noticed though is that you seemed to have a lot of good 'physical' support, which is something I think I'm missing currently. I don't want to sound ungreatful for the 'virtual' support from guys on here and facebook but it's just not quite the same. I need someone to physically tell me what to do and keep pushing and give me a kick up the arse to sort stuff.
Somehow I did manage to get through xmas and new year - OCD and IBS levels have been ridiculously high though, the amount of bog roll and soap that dissappeared was ridiculous, but I did manage it so onto worrying about the next thing.... Well tbh I haven't stopped worrying about it at all tbh, every day I'm worrying about the fact I have no money and need a job, and to move out - and still can't see any of that happening. Even after 3 pages of thread nothings changed, am I just thick or what? And it's made worse by the fact I have nothing to do currently, stripping the Golf was a great 'project' which kept me occupied for weeks and gave me something to get up for, I've now got nothing at all to get up for, theres just no point. If I didn't feel I was gonna shit myslef at around 9am I wouldn't bother getting up at all. Any motivation I had has completely gone now, I don't know where to get any from, shame shops dont sell it, then again it's a shame brains don't run on OBDII and be fixed with a code reader. Also I've been walking Nans dog everyday for a couple of weeks, it turns out walking doesn't help anything either, I just end up with earache, a stiff neck and now a dodgy knee from the cold and damp.
As for telling my Mum, I'm not sure if she doesn't listen or just has a memory like a sieve, I explained a few things to her over the last week which she seemingly ignored completely and said yesterday, well now its the new year you've got to go and sign on and get a job..............wtf, did you listen at all!? Then she was shocked when I said about wanting to definitely move out before the end of this year, although I'd explained the reasons several times.
So can someone tell me EXACTLY what I should do now? Cos I still don't know.
Dicky - that makes perfect sense mate, and I know what you mean about getting stuff from your brain onto paper as I'm the same. With your brother, thats the exact reason I wouldn't attempt suicide, I know I'd f*ck it up and that'd just make things worse. Having a break from home would be ideal for me I think, as I know thats a major part of the problem, however I've got no where to go tbh, thats why the only option really would be to move out on my own, don't have any relatives I could stay with.
Kwik - I've read through that 2 or 3 times to take it in lol! And it does look like you've managed to make a brilliant recovery from where you were. What I noticed though is that you seemed to have a lot of good 'physical' support, which is something I think I'm missing currently. I don't want to sound ungreatful for the 'virtual' support from guys on here and facebook but it's just not quite the same. I need someone to physically tell me what to do and keep pushing and give me a kick up the arse to sort stuff.
Somehow I did manage to get through xmas and new year - OCD and IBS levels have been ridiculously high though, the amount of bog roll and soap that dissappeared was ridiculous, but I did manage it so onto worrying about the next thing.... Well tbh I haven't stopped worrying about it at all tbh, every day I'm worrying about the fact I have no money and need a job, and to move out - and still can't see any of that happening. Even after 3 pages of thread nothings changed, am I just thick or what? And it's made worse by the fact I have nothing to do currently, stripping the Golf was a great 'project' which kept me occupied for weeks and gave me something to get up for, I've now got nothing at all to get up for, theres just no point. If I didn't feel I was gonna shit myslef at around 9am I wouldn't bother getting up at all. Any motivation I had has completely gone now, I don't know where to get any from, shame shops dont sell it, then again it's a shame brains don't run on OBDII and be fixed with a code reader. Also I've been walking Nans dog everyday for a couple of weeks, it turns out walking doesn't help anything either, I just end up with earache, a stiff neck and now a dodgy knee from the cold and damp.
As for telling my Mum, I'm not sure if she doesn't listen or just has a memory like a sieve, I explained a few things to her over the last week which she seemingly ignored completely and said yesterday, well now its the new year you've got to go and sign on and get a job..............wtf, did you listen at all!? Then she was shocked when I said about wanting to definitely move out before the end of this year, although I'd explained the reasons several times.
So can someone tell me EXACTLY what I should do now? Cos I still don't know.