04-12-2012, 05:17 PM
(04-12-2012, 03:50 PM)n0v0s Wrote: From a medical point of view, i want to make it clear that there is no definition of normal. people vary vastly and quite a few people have traits of anxiety and ocds etc. it's when it starts to take over your life that it becomes a problem, which it clearly is and so you need to try get to the bottom of the physiological issues.. you need to address your ocd/anxiety problems firstly.
Now, cbt is what will be recommended to you. However, thanks to budget cuts and depending on your trust.. The waiting times for sessions will vary, upto several months. So I strongly recommend you visit your Gp and get things rolling. Cbt can be absolutely amazing and help greatly or it will not work at all. But until you commit and give it a dam good try, you won't know. It's not just about talking to someone. It's also about changing learned behaviours and negative thought processes. A lot of the onus is obviously on you, you have to put the techniques into use. If you won't go to the gp or cbt then I need to ask why?
Again, the anxiety appears to be stemming from a multitude of issues. Confidence, the ibs, money worries and generally due to the complex disorders you're having to live with. You also strike me as a very anxious individual. Medication can help but I wouldn't recommend it. The cbt is well worth a try however, and if all else fails then medication is an option.
The ibs is strongly linked to anxiety, as well as certain foods etc. try eating lots of fibre (brown bread etc). You need to try control it, try bulk up your faeces to allow it to be more controllable. I don't think it is wise to try get a job just yet. The complex nature of your problems would only complicate your routine and from the sound of it, would only end in you quitting. Which would reinforce negative thoughts again. Not what you want.
If you have any thoughts of wanting to harm yourself, there are anonymous helplines available to your 24/7 .. Someone to talk to. I acknowledge it was only a thought but nevertheless be aware there are people if you ever go back to that place. You also seem to be showing signs of mild depression. I don't like to categorise, but you certainly tick some criteria. As mention, the gp should honestly be your first port of call. They have the means to advise you best and help you. If you really wish to begin to help yourself, talk to your gp. I think talking on the forum was a great idea. But it's limited. Your not going to get much medical help from here. Advice about your other issues, yeah. But that is only really masking your issues.
Have you anybody you can talk to? To help you get used to talking about your problems? You may not want to, but it may make you feel better to share your worries. I also think you should try talk to your family at home. Explain some of your thoughts about the loo situation etc. just how are they supposed to know if you don't explicitly say? Some people are very oblivious.. So even though it looks obvious to you, and you think they should 'know' .. They may not. And probably don't even realise how much of an inconvenience they are being to you.
Also, if it has really gotten this bad, then you need to probably break out of your comfort zone... I.e talking about it to gp, family etc in order to improve your life. As it is easy to make counter arguments and excuses in order to not have to break comfort levels.. But it won't really get you out of this almost endless cycle. Hope this has been of some use to you.
In summary, I'm from a medical background and am strongly recommending you visit your gp. There is hope. It will not be easy and there is no magic cure, but there is hope and more chance than not of improving. And that is what you need to realise.
I have been to visit the doctors 3 times now - and I absolutely hate anything medical! First time was completely crap, got nowhere cos the Dr didnt listen, just kept going on about my weight (or the lack of it)...but somehow he couldn't understand that clearing out several times a day will reduce my weight.
I've fattened up a bit to 55kg (Just under 9stone) now, since I finished college I don't get the anxiety shits every morning now, just mornings when I'm going out or got something stressful planned. Which is probably about 4 or 5 days a week now. But what I can't understand is when I don't clear out like that and everythings a bit more solid I still have to go 4/5/6 times a day at least! It's like more comes out than I put in!!Anyway, after several months I did go back and see another doc, he was more helpful, and put me on some antidepressants - but I couldn't swallow them.
Went back a few weeks after and told the next doc (a lady this time) that i couldn't swallow them and the probs I was having with no job etc. She put me down for the CBT, I went through a phone interview amd then got a letter saying that it was likely to be several months away.
As I mentioned earlier on I don't really have anyone to talk to, I go for days not actually speaking to anyone at all let alone about this kinda stuff. The 'rents do kinda know the situation, they know I need the loo quite a lot (but cant understand the urgency as they can hold in a shit all day!). I've even asked that certain times (Sunday mornings in particular, I have to be out early) that they keep the bathroom vacant as much as possible until I've left - but nope they'll go in there for hours having baths or playing games on the phone on the bog, it seems to me like they do it on purpose but I will assume they don't, as if I go in there when they need to get ready to go out theres hell to pay. Again with the OCD, they know its there, they comstantly take the piss about it, I can put up with some banter but it does boring when its the same 'joke'. They also know I prefer them to be out so i can get stuff done - but again this doesn't go down well. Usually get answers of 'Oh so Im not allowed in my own kitchen that I pay all the bills for' etc...which I really dont have a comeback for, as its true!
I'm not even sure where my comfort zone is anymore, everything I do seems to be out of the comfort zone, even simple things like driving or shopping in the supermarket are really raising anxiety levels lately. Even going to bed you'd think would be relaxing, but it isn't, I just keep thinking/worrying about stuff all night and not really sleeping.