25-12-2012, 03:42 PM
Did you hear about the stupid turkey?
He was looking forward to Christmas
whatve you got?
He was looking forward to Christmas
whatve you got?
Member of the 99% warning or you're nothing club
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Terrible Christmas Jokes
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Posts: 19,854
Threads: 581 Joined: Dec 2011 Reputation: 195 Location: Bournemouth Car Model/Spec: Supercharged 306 GTi6 
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Given 82 thank(s) in 78 post(s)
25-12-2012, 03:44 PM
Whilst not a joke, there is actually a reason why christmas cracker jokes are made to be so bad on purpose! Any ideas?
Team Eaton
1999 China Blue 306 GTi6 - Eaton Supercharged - 214.5bhp 181lbft 
25-12-2012, 03:45 PM
Why do golfers wear two pairs of trousers?
in case they get a hole in one
Current stable
'09 Mercedes E320cdi wagon '99 306 gti6 
25-12-2012, 03:45 PM
There have been reports of a white haired man in a strange outfit going around emptying his sack in children's bedrooms across the country.
Jimmy Savilles at it again! 
25-12-2012, 03:47 PM
How does Rudolf know when its Christmas?
HE looks at his calen-deer Member of the 99% warning or you're nothing club 
25-12-2012, 03:59 PM
What's the funniest job
A fisherman, hes always dropping lines ![[Image: 20A1806D-891D-40FB-BD52-AD519177A607-734...391753.jpg]](http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d196/mattbush/20A1806D-891D-40FB-BD52-AD519177A607-7340-0000058F46391753.jpg) TEAM CONROD SHITTING RALLYE!
25-12-2012, 04:07 PM
What did the rug say to the floor?
Don't move, I've got you covered! Member of the 99% warning or you're nothing club 
25-12-2012, 04:42 PM
25-12-2012, 05:25 PM
What do you call an underground train full of professors?
A tube of smarties!
25-12-2012, 05:56 PM
The BBC have announced that Bob The Builder has been sacked.
They say they can no longer trust any children's TV star who claims to be able to fix it.
25-12-2012, 06:58 PM
christmas cracker so called jokes
what do you call a sheep that has been struck by lightning? electric blanket! what do you get if you cross a snowman and a shark? frostbite! what do you call a camel with three humps? humphrey!
Venetian XUD ph2 heaven
Ph3 perv cab heaven Black ph1 XUD died Moonstone hdi stage 2 
25-12-2012, 07:53 PM
I've just bought the BBC advent calendar.
Every time I open a door, I have to pretend I haven't seen Jimmy Savile abusing a child. ![[Image: DSC_0190-Copy_zpsf093f84d.jpg]](http://s1038.photobucket.com/user/167gti8/media/DSC_0190-Copy_zpsf093f84d.jpg.html) Member of 99% warning or your nothing club!
25-12-2012, 07:57 PM
Why did the microscope cross the road?
To get to the other side They get worse every year ![[Image: image_zps45f2003b.jpg]](http://s39.photobucket.com/user/austinmini-2008/media/image_zps45f2003b.jpg.html) Team Doesn't own a 306
25-12-2012, 08:00 PM
Why did the chewing gum cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken Member of the 99% warning or you're nothing club 
25-12-2012, 08:14 PM
Seriously people need to quit with the Jimmy Saville jokes the man was a legend...I mean hundreds of kids wrote in saying they didn't want to be virgins anymore, he fixed it for them didn't he!
Member of Team Rather be Gay than Ginger
Member of Team Holey Engine ![[Image: IM_sig.jpg]](http://images.mafiacrime.org/h/IM_sig.jpg)
25-12-2012, 08:23 PM
I don't understand why everyone has such a downer on jimmy saville, when i was 8 he fixed it for me to milk a cow blindfolded
Current stable
'09 Mercedes E320cdi wagon '99 306 gti6
25-12-2012, 08:32 PM
(25-12-2012, 08:26 PM)Daniel306 Wrote: They read that out on the radio yeah, thought that was brilliant haha
Current stable
'09 Mercedes E320cdi wagon '99 306 gti6 
25-12-2012, 08:34 PM
Eddie stobart has just released his new movie..
I havnt seen the film yet but the trailer looks good. ![[Image: newsig_zpsee86fa10.jpg]](http://s1215.photobucket.com/user/kingy1975/media/newsig_zpsee86fa10.jpg.html)
25-12-2012, 08:46 PM
Looks like my wife is cooking a Cypriot Christmas dinner this year.
Half turkey, half Greece.
Member of Team Rather be Gay than Ginger
Member of Team Holey Engine
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